“Create a menu where you can do things other than PIV, and where intercourse is not always the expectation.” A good way to think of actual foreplay, then, is to disregard the fore and concentrate on playfulness. Think of it as anything that you and your partner engage in to turn each other on and set the mood, no matter what happens before or afterward. Kristie Overstreet, Ph.D., LPCC, LMHC, CST, is a clinical sexologist and psychotherapist with 12 years of clinical experience. She is a licensed counselor in California, Florida, Georgia, and Louisiana. “These contrasting caresses electrify the nerve endings in his skin, and the surprise factor helps rev him up even more,” she says.
Jessica O’Reilly, PhD is a Toronto-based sexologist, author, television personality, and award-winning speaker. You’ll find her advice weekly in the likes of Women’s Health, Men’s Fitness, Cosmopolitan, SELF, Showtime and The Movie Network. Find her on social media @SexwithDrJess or at sexwithdrjess.com. Although there are tons of shower sex positions that actually work, using the shower or a tub is a great way to engage in foreplay. After all, what’s steamier than making out and touching each other while you’re naked, wet, and lathered up with soap? Use this as a time to really explore one another before taking things somewhere dry.
Stay porn malay in your approach rather than mentioning what they are not doing. Say something like, “I really love the way you kiss my neck and put your hands on me. It makes me want to have sex with you.” Don’t forget that we also carry a great deal of tension in our buttocks and hips, so, including that in your massage is also a treat. If your hands feel tired giving the massage, use a body massager to complement your sensual massage. For more information, make sure to see our guide on How To Give Sensual Massage. Ears also contain a rich amount of acupressure points, and massaging ear lobes and nibbling and kissing them can provide intense sensual stimulation.
Role-playing is great because it allows you to express your inner desires freely! There are sexual acts that we would love to do, but can’t bring ourselves to because it’s inappropriate, fears of judgment, etc. Show off for her, and allow her to show off for you. The goal of the strip tease is to enjoy viewing your partner’s body without distractions before touching each other.
Consider suggesting to your partner that they only use the backs of their hands to touch you for the first minute or two in your favorite erogenous zone for stimulation. Their touch will likely lighten and slow down as they experience the texture, shape, and temperature of your skin against the sensitive backs of their fingers for sensual foreplay. But a photograph can leave a lot less to the imagination. Say your partner loves it when you send them a sexy picture of yourself. Set the mood by sending them a sexy picture of you or what you’d wear in the night and let the rest do the talking.
Keep in mind that certain foreplay techniques will naturally lead to intercourse, like manual stimulation or oral sex. Essentially, you want to think of foreplay as less of a “before” and more of an integral addition to mind-blowing hookups, no matter the type of sex you’re having. That’s because penetrative sex isn’t the end-all-be-all. In fact, most people with a vulva can’t orgasm through penetration alone.
This shift in polarity sets the stage for foreplay to more naturally occur. We often think about massaging the shoulders and back, but the feet are gateways to tons of stress and pressure points. Sit her down, grab a little oil, and get her talking about what’s up for her. Just extend your heart, listen, and she’ll be a puddle of grateful goo in no time. There’s nothing women find sexier than a man who is in touch with his darker, beast energy, which is something they pick up subconsciously.
Check out this list of expert tips in Insider on how to prolong sex and find greater satisfaction with your partner. A prospective study on sexual dysfunctions in depressed males and the response to treatment. The potential of hormonal contraception to influence female sexuality. Experiment with different sexual positions and new fantasies. Some males simply need more stimulation to ejaculate.